[reverie - ic inbox.]

[peacetalks]

"Pray speak your piece, and I shall return it anon."

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[peacetalks]

[chuckles]

I do not mind your selfishness. I only fear I've little else of interest to speak on... shall I read to you from a book? Though you may find the contents rather dull.

[finalsteps]

Anything counts if I am hearing you. A book, a thought. I just want to hear you.

[ This is how Estinien is coping right now. ]

[peacetalks]

As you wish. I've been reading the writings on philosophy from other stars, and though the language sometimes befuddles me, the ideas within intrigue me.

[he shifts so he can pull up a book and open it to a page while still holding his phone. IT'S KIERKEGAARD TIME]

This one, for example, writes on the paradox of men whose faith in the gods--though they only ever write of one--is so absolute they would commit terrible things in their name. He uses a parable from their holy text about a man whose god commanded him to sacrifice his son, and though his heart was pained, so great was his faith that he obeyed. In the holy text, the man is lauded for his absolute faith and piety, but this philosopher posits that the man is instead a tragic figure, for he exists between duty and desire, and sacrifices desire for duty, yet desire still remains. A truly pious man would be one whose desire and duty are one and the same, yet even then, I wonder, is there not an element of tragedy that yet remains?

[3AM PHILOSOPHY HOUR, LET'S GO]

[finalsteps]

[ Did Estinien understand a word that Aymeric just said? Absolutely not. Does he pause to try and decipher it anyways? Absolutely. ]

This sounds akin almost to the old clergy of Ishgard, who upheld the secrets within the Vault, aye?

[ They committed terrible things and his terrible secrets in the name of Aymeric's father, in the name of Halone, probably. ]

The idea of it goes over my head, you will have to forgive me.

[peacetalks]

You're more than forgiven, my friend. Aye, you've the right of it, or at least I happen to think so. Many of the old clergy would not have balked at tales of bloody sacrifice, and would have claimed themselves pious people in turn. Yet so few would have asked themselves if the lives they led might not have been in true service to Halone.

... 'tis something I have been thinking on, of late. What terrible things men do in the name of faith.

[finalsteps]

Why does it bother you so as of late?

[peacetalks]

[softly]

Ratatoskr. I struggle to maintain my consciousness when she is around, but Hraesvelgr's love and regret for her lingers strongly. I imagine the same must be true for Nidhogg. And I cannot help but think how different everything would have been had man not betrayed her and stolen her eyes for their own. How Nidhogg and Hraesvelgr might have become, if they'd had her at their side.

[finalsteps]

[ … there is a palpable silence before he ultimately agrees. ]

We have time to fancy a “what if”, don’t we? Nidhogg may have come around further to the idea of man and dragon, Ratatoskr had him painfully close the trusting them before they took her life.

Nidhogg would not have despaired, and Hraesvelgr would not be full of every emotion you feel at the back of your throat.

Perhaps Ishgard would be in a better situation.

[peacetalks]

[makes a wordless, sympathetic sound]

Our lives now would be so different. Mayhaps you and I would never have met.

[finalsteps]

[ was that a sad sounding noise? yes. ]

Ratatoskr’s fate was unkind, my family suffered for a war that did not involve them, your father was near the root of Ishgard’s problems. But we have one another, aye?

[peacetalks]

[quietly, almost a murmur, full of longing]

Estinien...

So much of our lives would not have happened the way they did. You and I would be entirely different people, more than like. And yet... I cannot regret meeting you. I do not regret it. I do not regret coming to know you as I have, nor coming to love you.

[finalsteps]

When you say that it makes it difficult to stay away.

[ Even with Nidhogg and Hraesvelgr’s problems. ]

I know we must stay strong. I regret nothing about how we have come to be either. These possessions being able to grab us so easy, I hope it eases off after this task.

[ He can’t sleep a wink like this. ]

[peacetalks]

As do I. I feel so weary and yet so tense at the same time.

[finalsteps]

Is there aught I can do to take your mind off of it?

[peacetalks]

[takes a breath and lets it out]

So long as I am talking with you, I feel not nearly so worn. Tell me truly, how do you fare?

[finalsteps]

My mind races and it tires very quickly right now. But talking to you gives me ease.

[peacetalks]

If I'd half an onze of talent for music, I'd sing you a lullaby... but I shall leave such things to Megumi.

[...]

Would that I could be at your side in this moment. If I were...

[finalsteps]

What if you were?

[ Aymeric's own voice is melodious enough. ]

[peacetalks]

I would most certainly hold you in my arms, if you would permit me. I would kiss you, on every ilm of your face, as a promise of love and devotion. I would...

[pauses, thinking]

I would place my fingers on your brow, and your temple, and sooth away any lines of stress or worry. Try it. Place your fingers there, and rub them in circles.

[finalsteps]

[ well, he can only do that with one hand, but he does. there is an audible pleased sigh. ]

The only thing that would make this better if it were actually you doing it. You could probably imagine how relaxed I would get.

[peacetalks]

I can certainly imagine it.

[chuckles softly]

And then... if you would allow it, I would brush your hair. You look quite handsome with your hair tied up, but just as much so with it down. And I do so enjoy running my fingers through it.

[finalsteps]

Ever the romantic you are. You would spoil me as I would like to spoil you.

If you would allow it I would also run my fingers through your hair, and kiss your temples.

[peacetalks]

Of course I would spoil you, my love. I can think of few others who deserve to be spoiled as much as you.

[sighs, almost dreamily]

Oh, how nice that would feel... to lie with you and kiss you, with our hands in one another's hair.

[finalsteps]

You make me think of it, you know. Kissing you, holding you. Being with you.

[ it pains him that they can’t, really. ]

I promise to give you whatever you require whenever we can get close again.

[peacetalks]

[softly, almost a whisper]

And I you. I would shower you with kisses, given half a chance. Your lips, your cheeks, your brow, your ears.

[with an audible grin]

And that spot on the back of your neck that makes you shiver, of course.